"La vida mundana es irreal. Es ilusoria y transitoria. Es fútil y vana. Su fin es únicamente el polvo. No hay en ella nada que hacer más que charlar, chismosear,comer y dormir. Todo es ilusorio y doloroso. Todo es transitorio y fugaz. La experiencia mundana no encierra ningún valor ni realidad. Sólo la Luz es real."
jueves, 5 de agosto de 2010
I drove to the hospital and talk with doctor Mankiewicz and he told me something that really surprised me. He said I was still a virgin when I gave birth, he said my hymen was intact, like I said, I was a virgin so what the doctor said didn't surprised me really but it was scary because if I wasn’t raped, how I got pregnant?
I drove to see my gynecologist and explain her everything that happened to me and he told me that sometimes hymen doesn’t break after having sex; they called it elastic hymen that’s very hard to break so it gives a possibility that I had this elastic hymen and get pregnant by having normal sex.
On the other hand I had a Caesarean operation because of my conditions I could not give birth in a normal way, dilatation was not enough.
In my drive home I thought about all these things that I heard today and then another question came to me. Because of the fact that you must use a sperm to get pregnant; there’s a possibility that I was raped, but the problem is that I don't remember being raped, so what is the explanation for my sudden pregnancy?
All these days, I’ve been thinking and trying to remember anything that could help me to clear my doubts, but nothing.
Anyways it has been really hard for me to take care of the baby and at the same time study and trying to find the answer for my unknowing pregnancy. I have already left my job and my mom is helping me with the baby but this mystery is killing me.